Boy, those first couple of hustles were rough (read: awesome), huh? We all knew Patrick loves beer and is an asshole, so it wasn’t surprising how much beer he funneled into us on the first two hustles. But just like the monkeys eventually grew tired of picking their friends' hair, beginning to dream of capitalism and 400-story buildings, so too the hustles needed to evolve.
John and I were not gifted beer-chuggers, and we hoped we were not alone in our desire to make the hustles a bit more creative, seeing that the first two hustles combined for 5 checkpoints and 6 beers (not even counting the finish line beers for each race!). The Pabst dripped from our bodies once the sweat had been exhausted. It was a stinky, beer-soaked mess once everyone arrived at O’Rourke's. So since it was back-to-school time, we thought we'd plan our race around the "drier" areas of the city: college campuses. The checkpoints were to be completed in any order, and most of the tasks were unknown to the racers until they found the race correspondents:
Meeting/starting point: Kohl’s across from SCC at 84th and “O”
- Union College: blow up a balloon that must be intact at the finish
- UNL East Campus: buy any item from the Kwik Shop at 33rd and Holdredge
- UNL City Campus: pick up today’s Daily Nebraskan
- Wesleyan: eat five saltine crackers without water
- Dan Kroll's house: chug a beer (DUH!)
Finish: O’Rourke's and one pint of Boulevard Pale Ale
This was the longest race up to this point with 5 checkpoints, but it seemed much more conceivable that a human being could ride to all of these places if there were non-chugging checkpoints awaiting them at each location. Aside from some slight issues with a couple different checkpoints (correspondents getting lost, the Daily Nebraskan loophole), things went smoothly and people rode their bikes. And that’s what we’re here for: riding!
We also welcomed Dan back from the hospital with this race. After shooting the starting gun, I huffed it over to his porch to sit down and enjoy a cold 312. When I arrived at O’Rourke's, approximately 30 minutes after the starting time, I barely had time to sit down with a beer before James came bursting in the door, his inflated balloon protruding like a giant, mutant breast from his shirt. He looked like a real winner! Others followed closely behind, and by the end it was looking like New Year’s Eve in O’Rourke's with all the balloons, beer-toasting, smiles and…Daily Nebraskans? Yes, Daily Nebraskans. Because that’s what we are after all: Nebraskans who ride their bikes DAILY!! (get it? of course you get it.)
*Undone by imperfect race organizing on [Aaron's] part.